The statistics are depressing. That’s for sure. But we’ve all been told that numbers don’t lie, right?
As high as 60% of all married individuals cheat on their partner, and the same is true for couples in non-marital relationships. Men and women both cheat, but men still cheat more.
If that sounds disturbing and alarming, it should. The immediate and lingering effects of a cheating partner are truly devastating both emotionally and financially.
So why do men cheat? Why do they seek out the pleasure of another woman? Is she more attractive? Is she better in bed? Are all men just “dogs”?
Surely most men truly love their wives when they get married. Otherwise, why do it? So if we assume that’s the case, then why does the love fade? What causes a man to push his wife or girlfriend aside in favor of another (often less attractive) woman?
The truth is, love alone is not enough to keep a partner faithful. In fact, most men would rather be respected than loved. To men respect = love. This is something relationship expert James Bauer mentions extensively inside his book, What Men Secretly Want. It is an extremely important concept for women to understand if they want to keep a man faithful.
Men want to be admired. They want to be desired. They want to feel respect from the woman they are with. In the end, infidelity is a symptom. The cause is neglect, boredom, feeling disrespected, etc.
None of these things justify cheating. But they do help us understand it, so we can hopefully keep it from happening in the future. And that takes a proactive approach.
Expecting a man (or woman for that matter) to be faithful on their own without any effort on your part can put your entire marriage and relationship at risk.
It’s not your fault when someone cheats on you. That’s not what we’re saying. They made that decision themselves and could have just as easily chosen not to.
What we’re saying is a relationship takes effort from both sides. If you take a reactive instead of a proactive approach to your relationship, then you’re already behind the eight ball. Soon the relationship grows stale, a man’s needs may not be met, he won’t feel fulfilled, and when an opportunity presents itself, he’ll be more likely to cheat. The same is true for you if your needs aren’t being met in the relationship.
So what’s a girl to do? What do you need to do to make a man only want you?
Relationship expert, Felicity Keith, believes it starts by understanding the sexual psychology of men. That doesn’t mean you sleep with him anytime he wants. It’s about understanding how men are wired and using that to your advantage to hold his interest and create desire for you and only you.
Felicity Keith is pretty remarkable in that her discoveries all started from accidentally catching her husband watching porn one day. For many women, seeing your man watching and enjoying the naked bodies of other women is a huge emotional blow. It most definitely was for Felicity.
After spending a lot of time angry, hurt, depressed, and feeling like she wasn’t good enough, she made a decision to revive the passion in her relationship…no matter what. Rather than sulking, she decided to be proactive. She learned everything she could about the sexual psychology of men and how that dictates what they do, how they feel, how they experience love and devotion, and how they respond to women. In the end, those discoveries saved her marriage.
Sometime later, she turned her discoveries into an online course to help other women in similar situations. She calls it the Language of Desire.